When I’m being honest, I don’t know how to do this. The lights hang outside and the star sits atop the tree and childlike wonder dances through our very house and we talk about the birth of peace itself yet I still just can’t even. It’s too much, as Ellie says when I ask her to clean up. It’s … [Read more...] about if your advent aches
faith
a prayer for when gratitude is hard
It seems fitting, somehow, that as the earth tilts on its axis and turns the way it does and our days become shorter and the nights become longer that the dark seems to be casting its shadow far past our street corners and sidewalks. It seems that as the year inches forward, our days have literally … [Read more...] about a prayer for when gratitude is hard
finding hope in the hard
I sit on the front porch, relishing the North Carolina green that surrounds me, magnolia trees beginning to show off with blooms up and down, the morning air still crisp from a rain the night before. The girls are noisy rowdy in front of me, wrestling over sidewalk chalk, lost within a world of … [Read more...] about finding hope in the hard
when you feel betrayed by your body
She walks up to me one morning, tears in her eyes, shaky, lip quivering. “Baby girl,” I say. “Come here. What’s going on?” I gather her up on my lap, her legs and arms and body too big for this anymore, but I hold her tight. “Mama?” Deep breath. “I’m sad and worried that Mae is going to … [Read more...] about when you feel betrayed by your body
the scar
Mama, I see your owie. We're sitting in the van, her seat right behind mine. My cancer scar sits just above the neckline of my shirts, so if my hair is up in a top knot (every single day) my scar is right there, uncovered. As she's sitting behind me and I adjust positions, she notices … [Read more...] about the scar
a prayer for the weary
Sometimes it feels like it's one thing after another after another. It can be the big things like the diagnosis, the job, the isolation, the unpredictable future. And it can be the ordinary things like the raising of babies, the alarm in the morning, the same conversation yet … [Read more...] about a prayer for the weary