Last night I had several dreams that woke me up one right after the other all night long- all bad, all scary, all involving Lane. When my alarm went off this morning I was completely confused and couldn’t remember what day exactly it was. Should it be going off? Was last night real? One of ... Read More
The Sameness of Grief and the Courage to Love
The morning that Lane deployed to Iraq for nine months, I wake up to my alarm and immediately kick my foot over to his side of the bed- is he still here? Has it started yet? Is he still here, though? He’s still there, but not for long and we drive him to the parking lot, early morning ... Read More
When Being a Military Wife Feels Too Hard
All five of us, miracle of miracles, sit at the dinner table, eating chicken that Lane grilled and potatoes that I made just like any other family in America. Our conversation drifts to the following weekend and I mention a BBQ that we have been invited to- can we go to that? “Oh, no, ... Read More
A letter to my military child, during the month that’s just for you
I was tucking you into bed last night and you reached up quick and put your chubby little hands around my neck and whispered a question “Is Daddy coming home this year, or the next one?” I didn’t even think, I crawled right into that bed that’s three-sizes-too-small for me and pulled you in close, ... Read More
We Are the Lucky Ones: Sisterhood, Courage, and Love That’s Strong Like a Circle
After the ceremony, Brennan is driving with Lane in the back of his truck, she’s wearing her special pink floral dress because it twirls and he’s wearing his dress uniform because that’s what soldiers do with ceremonies this important. His boots are polished while her shoes sparkle, and she’s ... Read More
On empathy, marriage, and when real love feels real hard
Sunday morning, I wake up with a sore throat and the three girls do the same. Canceled plans for the day turn into canceled plans for the week as all four of us are the sickest we’ve ever been over the longest amount of time. Tuesday evening of that week, girls in bed, Lane and I are on the couch ... Read More